How to survive early pregnancy

My husband and I are newly weds and knew that we were both keen to start a family immediately. I stopped taking my pill a week before our wedding. I chose this timing so that I didn't get any surprises during our wedding and honeymoon. It took a good three months for my body to adjust to the change and my cycle was irregular for that time. This made trying to conceive a bit of a hit and miss situation, not knowing when I was ovulating and then not knowing when to expect my period. This was confusing because although you can buy home tests for ovulation, I didn't know if I was truly "late". My first month my period was two weeks late so I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. When my period finally arrived it was very light and only lasted a couple of days. I research early pregnancy online and discovered that bleeding was not uncommon so I took another test and again it was negative. I was so confused because all of the symptoms I was experiencing could be contributed to either pregnancy or the adjustment my body was experiencing from stopping the pill. This was an extremely emotional time not only because of the confusion but also due to the hormonal changes I was experiencing from stopping the pill.

My husband and I were lucky and fell pregnant three months after our wedding. When I took the positive pregnancy test I was apprehensive because of the emotional ride I had gone on that first month. I was trying to be rational about the chances of falling pregnant so soon and was trying very hard not to get my hopes up too much and had promised myself not to think about it until I had some hard evidence that I was pregnant. I chose to follow my instincts instead. For a couple of days I had noticed some subtle changes to my body that made me think something was happening. I had finished my period a week before and I was having some light cramping, the kind you feel just before you are about to start your period which was strange, I was very tired, barely able to stay awake past 8:30 and I had some light bleeding. So I decided to take a pregnancy test and was pleased to find that I was in fact pregnant. As I am sure most girls would, I jumped online and started calculating my due date. I figured that due to the timing of taking the pregnancy teat and the reported sensitivity of it that I must have fallen pregnant during my previous cycle and what I thought was another light period was actually implantation bleeding and the first sign of pregnancy. This would make me six weeks pregnant (as you start counting from the first day of your last period).

My brain immediately started going over my last month of activities, I was a smoker, I had been to a few parties and had a few drinks, I had eaten raw fish, I was feeling like a terrible mother already and the guilt and anxiety set in. The next day I started to look for a GP at a family clinic and discovered that it would be a two week wait before I could see anyone. For the next two weeks I worried and worried and worried. I was so exhausted and couldn't sleep, this worried me, was I eating right, getting enough exercise, had I already harmed my baby, I wasn't sick so was there something wrong, what if it is an ectopic pregnancy, is the baby growing, how do I know? I spent a lot of time on the Internet researching all of the worst case scenarios, taking more pregnancy tests and getting myself all worked up. My husband was very supportive but at the same time how would he know everything was going to be ok, what evidence did he have?

When I did get to the GP she weighed me, I had put on some weight (sigh of relief), and I went for a blood test. This is all that was done, it still hadn't been medically confirmed I was pregnant, I left feeling deflated and even more concerned than I was before I went (now I had blood test results to worry about). The GP gave me a mountain of papers telling me all the things I can't do or have and possible diseases and abnormalities that my baby could have. I needed to find an ob gyn, so I checked with my health insurer and found one close to home that would deliver at my hospital of choice. My appointment would be a week later after I had received my blood test results, because according to my calculations I would be nine weeks and the ob gyn does his initial scan then. I was so relieved, finally I would get some answers.

After receiving the all clear on the bloods, my husband and I made our way to the ob gyn. I had an overwhelming feeling that things weren't going to go well and that there would be something wrong (it could have been delusions resulting from lack of sleep the night before). I hand over my results and quite plainly told him that no one has either confirmed or denied my pregnancy or officially dated it. I got up on the bed for a scan only to see a concerned look on the face of the doctor, asking me when I started my last period. I explained my initial thoughts about the pregnancy tests and the light period, still concerned the doctor told me he would refer me to a specialist clinic for a more sensitive dating scan. He believed that there were two likely scenarios, I was not as far along as I thought or I had miscarried which is common in first pregnancies. I tried to keep it together as we thanked him and forked over more than $200 and left. I was two steps out the door when I started crying, my husband tried to comfort me but the more he did the more I cried. I went straight home and called the clinic but couldn't get in for days. The rest of the day I spent intermittently crying.

The next day I had rationalised things a little better and took comfort in the fact that we still didn' have any final answers and I would just have to wait and see what the results were at the scan. The big day arrived, strangely enough I felt great, no overwhelming sense of dread, no anxiety just excitement, someone was finally going to tell me something, anything definitive. We did an abdominal scan and the baby was visible and measured at about 5 and a half weeks, there was no discernible heartbeat but it is still a little early. So we also did a vaginal scan to see if we could get some more detail, with the same results. I was so relieved, a little confused, but relieved everything seemed fine. So now I start again, with the ob gyn and waiting for a heartbeat, but there is a baby and the dating fits into my cycle (just not in the month I thought). I was so surprised that the home pregnancy test could detect my pregnancy so early on. This is were I am at now, officially six weeks pregnant, waiting for my next scan and to hear a heartbeat, relaxed, happy and finally able get excited about the pregnancy. Stay tuned for updates as my pregnancy progress.

Here are some tips to help you through, they have come from mistakes I made or things I have done right. They are for you to take or leave as you please (my first tip contradicts even giving tips but go with it).

1. Don't get into chat rooms or spend all your free time researching, these people aren't doctors or even people you know and trust. Everyone is going to have a unique pregnancy experience your time is better spent going for a walk or enjoying one on one time with your partner.
2. Trust your body and your instincts, you don't have to take every possible scan in the world and you don't have to just wait and see. Listen to what your body is telling you and trust it.
3. Your husband is your greatest ally, let him help but you might need to tell him how. Do thins when you are both relaxed. Remember you are different, you stress about the babies health but the first thing a man will think about is money.
4. When in doubt seek out a professional. There are many different options for getting professional advice, nursing services and hot lines, pharmacists, you may not need to go straight to the hospital, ob gyn or even your GP, but ask someone who knows.